The Archetype Logs

today was emotionally rough. i dont know why. i did it to myself. nostalgia is a bitch. and so is my shitty tendency of walking forward, while looking back. so is my never ending appetite. that needs to just go away. cuz im tired of never being satisfied with what i have. i really really really am. three times this pattern has repeated now. if i was smarter i wouldn't be in this position anymore. i am indeed my own worst enemy. it's not a matter of enjoying the fruit, its being quenched by it. so why can't i? is it not time? i want it to be. maybe it will all pay off. but shits a gamble. maybe it won't. but numerous experiences with numerous people is getting old. ive always said one of the best feelings in the world is getting to know someone. i indeed believe that. the temporary butterflies that make one float. are becoming extinct. i think.