boy did i make a bad decision. thats the selfish part of me talking. this weekend was really disappointing. not much said. at all. nothing came close to stimulating conversation. im not lying when i say it was quiet 90% of the time. at least. sighs. huntington and all that is an awesome place. awesome. but i might as well be fuckin here when im not with people that want to go out and have fun. walk on the beach. get wet. go places. laugh at the same shit. good lord. this weekend could have been soooooooooo much better. it pisses me off. at least i know where to go back for a good time with someone worth going with. fuck. FUCK. i was watching people windsurf which looked absolutely amazing to me and i wanna do it. and i kept thinking wow if i was here with somoene else we would be out doing that shit. im just angry at the whole situation. and its my own doing.
i used to be the sweet boy. i pulled out a table with a table cloth and candles, playing opera music in the background, wine, flowers, all dressed up, making a fancy dinner at the same time. once i put a beach blanket out on my floor, cut out starfish and shells outta paper and had a clam chowder date. i used to be amazing at that cheesy romantic stuff. what the fuck happened.
give me by the end of the year. everything will be complete. and ill be the happiest motherfucker on the planet. so let it be written. so let it be done.
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