got a tattoo today. random.
this week should be interesting at work. getting registered for phoenix in march. tryin to set up a trip to cincinnati soon. gotta defend my product. hopefully the last of the wrinkles can get ironed out. might have a chance to do another product. not as grand scale though. but still new. still in circulation.
overall it was a good weekend. got to see my friends. have some more sushi. and have a good time.
dances with wolves
she asked, "whats the name of this town?"
he replied, "you can call it whatever you want." after which he stared, with a smirk on his face.
... and i wanted to attack. for the first time. in a long time.
he replied, "you can call it whatever you want." after which he stared, with a smirk on his face.
... and i wanted to attack. for the first time. in a long time.
height of callousness
back home. i feel good.
hung out last night with caitlin. watched the bizzaro office. then hung out with kristina. did again today. and saw mike and allix. i think were goin to morro bay in a little while.
im tired.
hung out last night with caitlin. watched the bizzaro office. then hung out with kristina. did again today. and saw mike and allix. i think were goin to morro bay in a little while.
im tired.
she ricochets
dinner went well today. for the most part. damn you alginate and chloride.
worked out. feel good. getting slimmer.
ate sushi. again.
tomorrow im gonna come in after 8. fuck it. i was in at seven today. and six thirty yesterday.
then home.
nightmares again. this one was about my dinner i had today. lol
thats all.
worked out. feel good. getting slimmer.
ate sushi. again.
tomorrow im gonna come in after 8. fuck it. i was in at seven today. and six thirty yesterday.
then home.
nightmares again. this one was about my dinner i had today. lol
thats all.
dances with wolves
"i want to wear this dress all night. it makes me feel pretty."
......."you are pretty."
......."you are pretty."
prozac please.
nightmares again.
long day. got up super early. drove down to irvine with my boss. stopped off at the coffee bean. got some quality face time in. he showed me his knives that he just happen to be carrying in his suitcase. youd have to know the guy to understand. but trip wasnt bad. snow on the grapevine. along with shitty fog. stopped off at the coffee bean for some vanilla lattes that i get to write off on my expense report. finally got down there. saw some neat stuff. whats the next big item thats gonna make our company rich? do we need a new piece of equipment for it? well thats our job to find out. drove back. same thing.
came home and prepped food for two hours for dinner tomorrow. tomorrow is gonna be long. gotta get up early and go to work to take all my food in. and i got a showing early in the morning. hopefully it goes well. and then i get to come home. work out. and pack. fuck.
didnt get the house. sooooooo frustrated and let down. only six people bid on it. i bid 20 grand over. no cash offers. and still came in second. what the fuck do i gotta do to get a house. really.
so now im havin a glass of wine. unwinding. preparing to recoil.
going home this weekend. gonna see kristina. caitlin. mike.
and thats where we stand.
long day. got up super early. drove down to irvine with my boss. stopped off at the coffee bean. got some quality face time in. he showed me his knives that he just happen to be carrying in his suitcase. youd have to know the guy to understand. but trip wasnt bad. snow on the grapevine. along with shitty fog. stopped off at the coffee bean for some vanilla lattes that i get to write off on my expense report. finally got down there. saw some neat stuff. whats the next big item thats gonna make our company rich? do we need a new piece of equipment for it? well thats our job to find out. drove back. same thing.
came home and prepped food for two hours for dinner tomorrow. tomorrow is gonna be long. gotta get up early and go to work to take all my food in. and i got a showing early in the morning. hopefully it goes well. and then i get to come home. work out. and pack. fuck.
didnt get the house. sooooooo frustrated and let down. only six people bid on it. i bid 20 grand over. no cash offers. and still came in second. what the fuck do i gotta do to get a house. really.
so now im havin a glass of wine. unwinding. preparing to recoil.
going home this weekend. gonna see kristina. caitlin. mike.
and thats where we stand.
give the devil his due
didnt hear anything on the house today. should hear tomorrow.
work was semi frustrating today. i can understand the gripe but good grief. buuuuuuuuuut im going to irvine tomorrow. all of a sudden. lol. gotta be in visalia at 6:30am. should be getting back around 6pm. goin with the boss and a couple other guys. gotta go look at equipment and such. but i get to eat food there all day. and get outta the office. and i get money for every mile i drive. so ill be rich.
thats about it. ill keep you in the loop.
work was semi frustrating today. i can understand the gripe but good grief. buuuuuuuuuut im going to irvine tomorrow. all of a sudden. lol. gotta be in visalia at 6:30am. should be getting back around 6pm. goin with the boss and a couple other guys. gotta go look at equipment and such. but i get to eat food there all day. and get outta the office. and i get money for every mile i drive. so ill be rich.
thats about it. ill keep you in the loop.
monsters ball
ive been quite down lately. not sure why. things are lookin up in reality tho. infact. im feelin really good about this house. ill find out either tomorrow but probably wednesday. its a good one.
i want to go to the snow this weekend. but i kind of want to see my friends too. i dunno. im fucked either way.
i want to go to the snow this weekend. but i kind of want to see my friends too. i dunno. im fucked either way.
had to put it all together
make choice that would last forever
had to make a choice that was not mine
had to say goodbye for the last time
im very tired. went to work late today. but theres no such thing as late anymore. got a bunch of congratulations. had meetings. got taken out to lunch. beautiful. and now. im gonna skip workin out today. watch some tv. maybe go get some dinner. and then get drunk.
going to look at houses tomorrow. then maybe go out in the evening.
make choice that would last forever
had to make a choice that was not mine
had to say goodbye for the last time
im very tired. went to work late today. but theres no such thing as late anymore. got a bunch of congratulations. had meetings. got taken out to lunch. beautiful. and now. im gonna skip workin out today. watch some tv. maybe go get some dinner. and then get drunk.
going to look at houses tomorrow. then maybe go out in the evening.
vindication
tonight was my first real plant trial for my product. it went beautifully. without a hitch. a couple of my peers were there. even the head of the department showed up at 11 at night. it was great. it felt like my first child or something. it was amazing, for all the people that doubted this, or thought it wouldn't work. thought i was 'crazy'.... well, ha, this is me gettin off on ya face. tomorrow you will hear all about how it went. and youll have to shut the fuck up. but seriously. im happy. very.
no overtime
goin to the movies tonight.
today was busy at work. im finding myself constantly defending my outta box thinking to production. they want everything same same same and i want to switch it up. we'll see who wins.
thursday is going to suck. goin in at 8am. meetings and stuff all day. off at five or whatever. but have to be back at like seven seven thirty. work for like an hour maybe. then have a break til like ten thirty. and work til 1 in the morning. no use drivin back to fresno anywhere in there. maybe ill just sleep at my desk. and i gotta be back in friday at normal time. zoooooooombie.
C://hidden/5@\/EM3_upload_deletefiles_
today was busy at work. im finding myself constantly defending my outta box thinking to production. they want everything same same same and i want to switch it up. we'll see who wins.
thursday is going to suck. goin in at 8am. meetings and stuff all day. off at five or whatever. but have to be back at like seven seven thirty. work for like an hour maybe. then have a break til like ten thirty. and work til 1 in the morning. no use drivin back to fresno anywhere in there. maybe ill just sleep at my desk. and i gotta be back in friday at normal time. zoooooooombie.
C://hidden/5@\/EM3_upload_deletefiles_
very busy gettin signatures today and tryin to convince people i was legit.
no house. huge bummer. i really wanted this one.
very sore. feel good.
the fucking wedding is off. kind of. theyre gettin married at the courthouse. the reception is still on. i think. so i rented a freakin tux and paid for it for nothing it looks like. son of a bitch. see folks. this is why i dont rush shit like this. what a joke.
vacuumed. did dishes. and now grocery shoppin.
the cat is a terror.
i keep my cards close to my chest for a reason. the people i trust. care about. hold close. do me wrong. even to this day. and you wonder why i have walls.
no house. huge bummer. i really wanted this one.
very sore. feel good.
the fucking wedding is off. kind of. theyre gettin married at the courthouse. the reception is still on. i think. so i rented a freakin tux and paid for it for nothing it looks like. son of a bitch. see folks. this is why i dont rush shit like this. what a joke.
vacuumed. did dishes. and now grocery shoppin.
the cat is a terror.
i keep my cards close to my chest for a reason. the people i trust. care about. hold close. do me wrong. even to this day. and you wonder why i have walls.
despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage
no word on the house yet.
im sore from yesterday. good.
big test next week.
thats really all i feel like saying.
im sore from yesterday. good.
big test next week.
thats really all i feel like saying.
extrusion solutions
oh so stressed. did was mentally hectic. but i get freaked out. i wanted to have a panic attack. its just a hell of a product for my first time. and it is my first time. i wasnt even this nervous about sex. at least sex felt good. but to be honest i dont remember my first time that well. all in all though things went well today i think. so. moving forward.
was talking about my house situation with the lady at the front desk today. she said i should pray and ask god to give me this house. i wanted to chuckle. i dunno. not my thing. but if i knew that, that would work, and i would i would get my house by doing that, i'd drop on my knees right now. lol. i only talk to a higher power when i want something. maybe thats why i've always gone unanswered. heh. please lord, give me this house.
came home and worked out my stress today. i feel tired and better. and talking it all out kinda helped. i just build up sorta at work.
the cat kept me up last night. he has a bell on his collar. so when he ran around for an hour with the bell on i finally got up and took the damn thing off of him. then he went to sleep on my legs at the foot of the bed which kept me from movin around cuz i didnt wanna wake him up. so that kept me from sleepin too. its like havin a fuckin kid.
thats about it.
was talking about my house situation with the lady at the front desk today. she said i should pray and ask god to give me this house. i wanted to chuckle. i dunno. not my thing. but if i knew that, that would work, and i would i would get my house by doing that, i'd drop on my knees right now. lol. i only talk to a higher power when i want something. maybe thats why i've always gone unanswered. heh. please lord, give me this house.
came home and worked out my stress today. i feel tired and better. and talking it all out kinda helped. i just build up sorta at work.
the cat kept me up last night. he has a bell on his collar. so when he ran around for an hour with the bell on i finally got up and took the damn thing off of him. then he went to sleep on my legs at the foot of the bed which kept me from movin around cuz i didnt wanna wake him up. so that kept me from sleepin too. its like havin a fuckin kid.
thats about it.
i think i have just as much potential to be completely happy. without a bunch of tangible things. i could be just as well off making just enough to get by.
do we seek out things to covet? no. we covet the things we see everyday.
i want to write something beautiful.
be more social.
i see people that have things that i want. and it makes me angry. and i want to take. whatever that thing is that i do not have.
do we seek out things to covet? no. we covet the things we see everyday.
i want to write something beautiful.
be more social.
i see people that have things that i want. and it makes me angry. and i want to take. whatever that thing is that i do not have.
so. i saw this house today. amazing. and i put in a nice fat offer. i really really want this one.
test tomorrow.
spent today fighting nutrition panels and spec sheets.
feel like a nice dinner tonight. tokyo steak house. and perhaps getting the cat a litter box. i like how the cat picked me. instead of the other way around. this way i know she wants me. lol. if only women were that easy.
oh. and i got a weird phone call. on friday. from a guy. who said something and then hung up. and i have an inkling who i might be. but. shrugs. no skin off my back.
test tomorrow.
spent today fighting nutrition panels and spec sheets.
feel like a nice dinner tonight. tokyo steak house. and perhaps getting the cat a litter box. i like how the cat picked me. instead of the other way around. this way i know she wants me. lol. if only women were that easy.
oh. and i got a weird phone call. on friday. from a guy. who said something and then hung up. and i have an inkling who i might be. but. shrugs. no skin off my back.
woke up with a lot of energy this morning.
but that gradually left as the day went by. i dunno what sucks the life outta me these days.
but back in good ole fresnooooo
gettin ready to make some dinner
the cat seems to be enjoying his new collar with a bell on it. we'll see if someone else takes it off.
watching gladiator. classic.
i guess thats all.
but that gradually left as the day went by. i dunno what sucks the life outta me these days.
but back in good ole fresnooooo
gettin ready to make some dinner
the cat seems to be enjoying his new collar with a bell on it. we'll see if someone else takes it off.
watching gladiator. classic.
i guess thats all.
work has been work. the pressure is growing on me. get this done.
back home. tried on tuxs today. didnt have to pay for my brothers. but mine still ended up being 115 dollars. oi.
watched football all day.
my back hurts.
its hot in this house.
and sweet tea vodka is callin my name.
fuck i hate waiting for people.
and thats about it. nothing exciting.
very boring.
sorry.
back home. tried on tuxs today. didnt have to pay for my brothers. but mine still ended up being 115 dollars. oi.
watched football all day.
my back hurts.
its hot in this house.
and sweet tea vodka is callin my name.
fuck i hate waiting for people.
and thats about it. nothing exciting.
very boring.
sorry.
dances with wolves
hi. um. i'm not really sure how to start this really. it's sort of an awkward situation. for the last few months, erm, couple weeks more specifically, your little princess has been biting my lips. i mean, i've been her boy on the side. funny i call myself a boy. from what i've been told i'm already more of a man than you'll ever become. yes. she's told me all about you. nothing too spectacular i must say. how self loathing you are (i dont blame you). how you conduct yourself in general and the way in which you speak of me. yeah. she gave me real specifics there. like how after you're done fucking you appologize. tell her how you're sorry and she should just leave you and go to me. that very well maybe the most pathetic thing i've ever heard. truly. and im sorry. i wanted to say no to her. i honestly did. but that.... perfect pale skin... and those, tattoos on her hip bones... kept me from being in control. i suppose it wouldn't hurt to give a little bit of detail as to her digressions. erm, progressions really. i spent nights in her bed. danced between her thighs. and held her in my arms. all for not though. why? a woman wants a man. and a girl wants a boy. make sense? i'm neither. more of a monster really. but i just thought you should know. what went on. for the most part. how she moaned and played. im sorry to say, but sorry, she strayed. and i didnt have the will. to say no. you know sometimes when she has that blank look on her face. staring off into space. and its followed with a sigh or a lowering of her eyebrows. thats me.
busy day. but its good. im doin good there. and thats about it.
apparently its my parents anniversary this weekend. so i was told to make myself scarce. cuz they wanna bone i guess. sooooo im not sure where im gonna stay.
i feel like writing. but i dunno what i want to say.
3 hours of office tonight. ya heard.
apparently its my parents anniversary this weekend. so i was told to make myself scarce. cuz they wanna bone i guess. sooooo im not sure where im gonna stay.
i feel like writing. but i dunno what i want to say.
3 hours of office tonight. ya heard.
back to work today. it was frustrating. people in other departments seem incompetent. but it was nice to be outta the house i guess. socialize.
MIGHT be going to texas in the next couple weeks. hurricane season. or maybe its tornados over there. i dunno.
very excited for wrestling tonight. i even had a dream about it. haha. which is the first one i had in a while.
i guess thats about it.
going home next weekend to rent tuxs with my brother. ugh. supposed to see catherine too. should be interesting.
found a bunch of old emails from like five years ago. geeze. boy was i naive. i suppose i am now too to an extent. i think now i am naive and jaded. not a good combo.
MIGHT be going to texas in the next couple weeks. hurricane season. or maybe its tornados over there. i dunno.
very excited for wrestling tonight. i even had a dream about it. haha. which is the first one i had in a while.
i guess thats about it.
going home next weekend to rent tuxs with my brother. ugh. supposed to see catherine too. should be interesting.
found a bunch of old emails from like five years ago. geeze. boy was i naive. i suppose i am now too to an extent. i think now i am naive and jaded. not a good combo.
well i spent most of my vacation drunk and at home. i pretty much sat on my ass on the couch for the last week. which is weird for me. i'm quite motivated obviously.
so back to work tomorrow. lots of big decisions gonna be made over the next couple days. im just not excited about getting up early.
not much else. i'm fine. i gotta iron some clothes.
so back to work tomorrow. lots of big decisions gonna be made over the next couple days. im just not excited about getting up early.
not much else. i'm fine. i gotta iron some clothes.
to taste forbidden fruit
2 days of vacation left.
gettin a haircut tomorrow.
dunno about sunday.
just sat around and watched tv today.
oh and had whip its. its just such an amazing and odd feeling. i get deja vu sometimes but when im on that stuff it feels like im repeating the exact same movements, mental images, everything. its hard to explain. its surreal.
watching rain man. classic.
im not totally bummed about going back to work on monday.
i wanna take another vacation. around april i think. a week somewhere. by then i should have my 8000 dollars back. all that good stuff. have enough vacation saved up. but. i dont like to plan things out. cuz things never work how i plan them.
gettin a haircut tomorrow.
dunno about sunday.
just sat around and watched tv today.
oh and had whip its. its just such an amazing and odd feeling. i get deja vu sometimes but when im on that stuff it feels like im repeating the exact same movements, mental images, everything. its hard to explain. its surreal.
watching rain man. classic.
im not totally bummed about going back to work on monday.
i wanna take another vacation. around april i think. a week somewhere. by then i should have my 8000 dollars back. all that good stuff. have enough vacation saved up. but. i dont like to plan things out. cuz things never work how i plan them.
i always thought, we'd make it through, didnt quite
fell apart
and where were you???
good new years
with good people
couples
made me think
what?
not sure
wont say
all the drinks were poured with everyone with 7 seconds to spair. too busy playing wii.
no mafia. i think u need at least 8 people for that game.
somewhere
anywhere
i dont care
with you
and where were you???
good new years
with good people
couples
made me think
what?
not sure
wont say
all the drinks were poured with everyone with 7 seconds to spair. too busy playing wii.
no mafia. i think u need at least 8 people for that game.
somewhere
anywhere
i dont care
with you